When I first began discerning my call to ministry, I asked my minister ‘how do you really know if you are called to ministry?’ People say “I received a call from God,” but my phone never rang; my heart and soul did. As I began discerning my call, I looked to scriptures and read the call stories from Moses through Paul. The one which really resonated with me is from the prophet Jeremiah 1:4-8, “Now the word of the Lord came to me saying, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.” Then I said, “Ah, Lord God! Truly I do not know how to speak, for I am only a boy.” But the Lord said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am only a boy’; for you shall go to all to whom I send you, and you shall speak whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you to deliver you, says the Lord.”
Another strong moment of revelation surrounding my call was when I remembered my mother's reason for my name, Christina. She wanted one of her children to have the word "Christ" in her name. As I sat in my office recalling her reason for my name, a feeling of pure joy and excitement filled my soul. I felt a warm energy run through my body and it was then that I knew for sure God was –and is– calling me to ministry.
Throughout my life I have felt the responsibility to help others and I searched for many years in my professional career to fulfill that call. I felt rewarded in my previous career as a personal trainer, yet something was still missing. Then, one day I was talking with the Reverend Laura Biddle and mentioned the lack of fulfillment I felt from work. As we talked, she said, "I think you are called to ministry". When she said that, I paused and thought what? Pondering to myself: I DO talk to all my clients about my faith and often their faiths, but am I really called to ministry? Looking back, I see that my call to help others was grounded in faith and the need to share God's love and light. Before that moment with Rev. Laura, going to seminary had never crossed my mind, partly because my childhood and adolescent faith taught me that women were not allowed to be church leaders. Instead, as a teen and young adult, I had aspirations of being a coach, doctor, lawyer, teacher, but never a minister.
My sense of call has continued to grow through my ministerial experiences. I originally set out to become a Hospital Chaplain. I felt drawn to this ministry because both of my parents are physicians and I spent many hours of my childhood in the doctors’ lounge and in the halls of hospitals. The hospital was my second home. While completing my first unit of Clinical Pastoral Education, I worked extensively with a woman who was terminally ill with cancer. My interactions with this patient were unique because usually, in hospital chaplaincy, you will only get one or maybe two visits with a patient. This patient was a late middle-aged woman whose body was riddled with cancer. She kept being discharged from the hospital to just come back a week or two later. When I met her she was trying to decide what medical care she should undertake. She had been fighting this disease for a while, and had endured the chemotherapy and radiation and other experimental drugs to no avail. I sat with her as she told me about her two sons, her male companion, and her dog. She, like so many people, worried about how her sons would react if she decided to stop trying to treat the cancer and instead went on hospice care. She stated she simply did not feel well and so I asked “what would feeling well look like to you?” She sat up a little in her hospital bed and said, “to look good, have my hair and nails done and be at home.”
We also did some healing work around her children and she shared a poem she had written for her boys. I felt so honored to be able to minister to her and walk with her during this sacred time in her life. With God’s guidance, I was able to help her discern what course of treatment she felt was best for her and bring her some comfort in her last days on earth. It was during my time with this patient that I discovered I loved being in relationship with people and the Holy Spirit was moving me towards parish ministry.
During my time at Brooksby Village, a retirement community in Massachusetts, I saw the love of Christ. I have always felt a strong connection with the elderly, likely due to my close relationships with my grandmothers. While at Brooksby Village, I had the privilege of ministering to people in the skilled nursing facility and assisted living areas. I loved being with those individuals. Many of the people on the skilled nursing floors could not speak but we were able to communicate in other ways. I remember one gentleman who had so much life in his soul but was unable to tell me about it. One of the nurses told me he seemed to be more depressed than usual and asked if I would visit with him. I gladly went to see him. I found him in the activity room the first day. While he could not really talk to me, I talked with him. Before my visit with him I learned as much I as could about his background so I could connect with him. I remember sitting with him and making eye contact. He looked up to me and gave me a big smile. The love I felt present was a reminder that God was there and working through me. When my time at Brooksby was coming to a close, I went into his room to tell him goodbye. I sat next to his bed and gave him a hug. He then took my hand and brought it close to his mouth as if to give it a kiss. I was so moved and honored. Being able to provide spiritual support to an individual in his/her most vulnerable and elderly days is a great honor.
My calling to parish ministry continues to be affirmed. I still feel a strong connection to the elderly, yet I am called to serve all of God’s people. One Sunday, as part of the children’s sermon, I decided to do a blessing of security blankets. The scripture passage was about Moses and his staff so I related his staff to being his security blanket. Moses’ staff was a reminder of God’s presence and comfort. After church, during coffee hour, one little girl came up to me to say thank you for blessing her blanket. She carries that blanket everywhere and it means even more to her than a typical security blanket because it is from her mother, who was incarcerated at the time. This blanket is how that child holds onto her mother and how God is present with her. This child coming up to me will stay with me forever. It is a reminder of the meaning, love, and support ministers can give to people of all ages.
It was during my Ecclesiastical Council that one minister stood up with the very first question and said, “In your paper you mention being a teacher, preacher, evangelist, pastor, and minister. So my question to you is what are you asking me to ordain you into? Is it a teacher, preacher, evangelist, pastor or minister?” To his question I simply replied, “Yes.” I remember my very first meeting with my Committee on Formation when a different minister said, “Be open to wherever God calls you.” As a minister, I believe I carry many roles and I have been so fortunate to have had experiences in a variety of settings and ministerial opportunities.
Another strong moment of revelation surrounding my call was when I remembered my mother's reason for my name, Christina. She wanted one of her children to have the word "Christ" in her name. As I sat in my office recalling her reason for my name, a feeling of pure joy and excitement filled my soul. I felt a warm energy run through my body and it was then that I knew for sure God was –and is– calling me to ministry.
Throughout my life I have felt the responsibility to help others and I searched for many years in my professional career to fulfill that call. I felt rewarded in my previous career as a personal trainer, yet something was still missing. Then, one day I was talking with the Reverend Laura Biddle and mentioned the lack of fulfillment I felt from work. As we talked, she said, "I think you are called to ministry". When she said that, I paused and thought what? Pondering to myself: I DO talk to all my clients about my faith and often their faiths, but am I really called to ministry? Looking back, I see that my call to help others was grounded in faith and the need to share God's love and light. Before that moment with Rev. Laura, going to seminary had never crossed my mind, partly because my childhood and adolescent faith taught me that women were not allowed to be church leaders. Instead, as a teen and young adult, I had aspirations of being a coach, doctor, lawyer, teacher, but never a minister.
My sense of call has continued to grow through my ministerial experiences. I originally set out to become a Hospital Chaplain. I felt drawn to this ministry because both of my parents are physicians and I spent many hours of my childhood in the doctors’ lounge and in the halls of hospitals. The hospital was my second home. While completing my first unit of Clinical Pastoral Education, I worked extensively with a woman who was terminally ill with cancer. My interactions with this patient were unique because usually, in hospital chaplaincy, you will only get one or maybe two visits with a patient. This patient was a late middle-aged woman whose body was riddled with cancer. She kept being discharged from the hospital to just come back a week or two later. When I met her she was trying to decide what medical care she should undertake. She had been fighting this disease for a while, and had endured the chemotherapy and radiation and other experimental drugs to no avail. I sat with her as she told me about her two sons, her male companion, and her dog. She, like so many people, worried about how her sons would react if she decided to stop trying to treat the cancer and instead went on hospice care. She stated she simply did not feel well and so I asked “what would feeling well look like to you?” She sat up a little in her hospital bed and said, “to look good, have my hair and nails done and be at home.”
We also did some healing work around her children and she shared a poem she had written for her boys. I felt so honored to be able to minister to her and walk with her during this sacred time in her life. With God’s guidance, I was able to help her discern what course of treatment she felt was best for her and bring her some comfort in her last days on earth. It was during my time with this patient that I discovered I loved being in relationship with people and the Holy Spirit was moving me towards parish ministry.
During my time at Brooksby Village, a retirement community in Massachusetts, I saw the love of Christ. I have always felt a strong connection with the elderly, likely due to my close relationships with my grandmothers. While at Brooksby Village, I had the privilege of ministering to people in the skilled nursing facility and assisted living areas. I loved being with those individuals. Many of the people on the skilled nursing floors could not speak but we were able to communicate in other ways. I remember one gentleman who had so much life in his soul but was unable to tell me about it. One of the nurses told me he seemed to be more depressed than usual and asked if I would visit with him. I gladly went to see him. I found him in the activity room the first day. While he could not really talk to me, I talked with him. Before my visit with him I learned as much I as could about his background so I could connect with him. I remember sitting with him and making eye contact. He looked up to me and gave me a big smile. The love I felt present was a reminder that God was there and working through me. When my time at Brooksby was coming to a close, I went into his room to tell him goodbye. I sat next to his bed and gave him a hug. He then took my hand and brought it close to his mouth as if to give it a kiss. I was so moved and honored. Being able to provide spiritual support to an individual in his/her most vulnerable and elderly days is a great honor.
My calling to parish ministry continues to be affirmed. I still feel a strong connection to the elderly, yet I am called to serve all of God’s people. One Sunday, as part of the children’s sermon, I decided to do a blessing of security blankets. The scripture passage was about Moses and his staff so I related his staff to being his security blanket. Moses’ staff was a reminder of God’s presence and comfort. After church, during coffee hour, one little girl came up to me to say thank you for blessing her blanket. She carries that blanket everywhere and it means even more to her than a typical security blanket because it is from her mother, who was incarcerated at the time. This blanket is how that child holds onto her mother and how God is present with her. This child coming up to me will stay with me forever. It is a reminder of the meaning, love, and support ministers can give to people of all ages.
It was during my Ecclesiastical Council that one minister stood up with the very first question and said, “In your paper you mention being a teacher, preacher, evangelist, pastor, and minister. So my question to you is what are you asking me to ordain you into? Is it a teacher, preacher, evangelist, pastor or minister?” To his question I simply replied, “Yes.” I remember my very first meeting with my Committee on Formation when a different minister said, “Be open to wherever God calls you.” As a minister, I believe I carry many roles and I have been so fortunate to have had experiences in a variety of settings and ministerial opportunities.
